Thursday 23 October 2014

Marriage. It's What Brings Us Together Today.


I am a wife.
Of course, I am also a daughter, a sister, a mother, and meemaw, I love all of those titles and all of those roles, but paramount to all of these is wife.
One of my greatest hopes is that my marriage is a representation of love and commitment to all who know me; even more important however, is the example I set for my kids. In fact, I would say that being a great wife to my husband is quite possibly the most important thing I can do for my children.

My marriage is in no way perfect, nor can I say I am an expert on the subject. What I can say however, is I am committed to learning and growing in my role as wife and have been for over 25 years. Marriage takes work - a lot of work - but, everything worthwhile does.

This blog, "Meemaw's Transformation" is a series of thoughts and musings of my life. A theme you will see more of here will be on the topic of love and marriage - as that is central to who I am.

One of the most important books I've read on the topic of marriage (and relationships in general) is The Five Love Languages
In the book, the author Dr. Chapman explains that there are 5 specific languages each of us speak and understand. More often than not, husbands and wives don't speak the same language. I guess that's the bad news. The good news is: we can learn each others language. And it's really not that hard!

I encourage you, for the sake of your relationship, learn your spouse's Love Language. Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch. Which language do you speak? Which language does your husband understand? Take the test here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ 

On November 18, Dr. Chapman is bringing his 5 Love Languages tour to my home church in Grimsby, Lakemount Worship Centre
If there is any way you can make it out, please do. I promise you, by applying what you learn in the 5 Love Languages, your marriage can't help but improve.





Tuesday 2 September 2014

Silence - is it golden?

Silence....

This post is a hard one to write. Let's go back a few months ago.
I want to apologize for not 'continuing' my journey as I had planned. My life has been - well - hectic x 1000! Due to family circumstances I needed to find employment that would give me more than 1 day a week. I landed a 'good' j-o-b that became all consuming. Hard pressure sales job. The job itself isn't hard but the leadership - lets just say they need to read more people-skills books. The pressure was mounting. I had quite a bit to deal with on the home front and now add this job stress. My body decided it would revolt to the pressure and I began to crumble. Checked in with my doctor - he strongly suggested a "stress leave" and "change of job". Easier said than done on both counts! SO to add to the already mounting anxiety/panic attacks - now I feel guilty (that I left a large hole in the company where I occupied space) and now - sit? Relax? Enjoy life? WHAT?!? How do I do that?!? I'm not lazy?!? I have some hard lessons to learn here!



I'm not writing this so I receive sympathy or as a poor me - I'm writing this to tell myself - I have a plan. I know how to get through this! I'm giving myself a self talk. I need to speak positive to myself. I heard a speaker once say,  "if your loved one spoke to you like you speak to yourself - you would probably punch them in the throat"
SO why do we speak so negatively to ourselves? I need to take time and dig deep. I have been reading leadership, attitude, relationship books for quite a while now. I have been preparing for this day (unknowingly of course).


I have been surrounded by an ocean of negative words and attitudes from this j-o-b for months. As a child/youth I had always heard: GARBAGE IN/GARBAGE OUT. Ouch.  It is so hard to live positive when you are surrounded by negative - I tried. I fought to stay positive. The problem was, I wasn't allowing any time for positive influences to combat the negative.
I was allowing the negative to take over. The war raging inside was so real. I am a strong person - if you know 'the personalities' yup - I'm a raging choleric! I thought nothing could take me down. As they say; the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Up until last week however, I could feel I was losing control. Silence was killing me. Sherri crying at work! What? You get the idea. I need to move on.

So - moving forward what am I going to do? The doctor has ordered me to stop what I am doing, and get better. First things first. Positive In will result in Positive Out.

Back to reading. 

Not fiction or the latest books in the must read shelves at the nearest bookstore. Books that will help me change my life. My attitude. Help me with relationships with my husband, my kids, and my friends. Books that the authors have fruit on the tree. They have successfully mastered what they have written. I have leadership and motivational cds coming out my ears. Again - positive influence.

I need to listen to them daily.

I need to reach down and find all the life principles I have learned over the years and start the healing process.

 It's time.


At the same time - stop looking so hard at myself and help others. Thousands of people need something positive spoken over their life! I need to be careful that I don't consume myself with me. Surround myself again with those that are encouraging and uplifting. TALK to people! Not whining or poor me. It's ok for people to know you are going through something. My mom always said, 'is it a hill to die on'. There are times that whatever the 'fight' is, isn't worth dying for. A petty argument or a silly issue. Other times? Absolutely! Fight for your freedom, your rights, your life!

Right now - I'm yelling from the mountain tops! FIGHT! Don't sit silent and try to wish it away. Allow people to help you. Allow people to speak into your life. If you need someone to talk to? I'm here. Don't be silent. Help yourself. Only YOU can pull yourself out. YOU have to make the decision to get out of bed. Look in the mirror and say, YOU are great. YOU have a purpose. YOU need to make a difference.


I won't be throwing all my dirty laundry onto Facebook or twitter or even on this blog. I'm writing this praying it makes a difference to one person. It's going to be a good day!


Friday 28 March 2014

Sad, Excited, Scared to Death!



 My 'last' day at work was yesterday, Thursday March 27th. Well, I guess I should be honest - my official last day was March 17th - the day I worked. BUT, they asked me to come in for lunch. Free food! I'm there!
Mixed emotions went through my head yesterday as I drove the hour of time along the highway from Niagara to Locke Street Hamilton. This will be the last day I make this trip to work. We went to a little bistro down the street for lunch. We tried not to talk shop but what awaited all of the us the next few months. My co-worker is going on a cruise, for myself, the NEW career path. My co-worker Lisa and I headed back to the office to tie up a few loose ends. Lisa is thrilled with my new position but hates me all at the same time.
We knew each other as kids and reconnected just a couple years ago with many years under out belts. Marriage, kids, great times, sad times. We shared a very special year building a relationship that we both vowed we would keep. We hugged goodbye - chatted for another few moments, hugged goodbye again. After 3 times Lisa said - please leave, I think I'm going to cry. As I walked out the door, my heart sank. Lisa called out - "Have a great weekend! See you next week!" She heard me stop in my tracks, she loudly whispered, "Just humour me". I called back and said my usual - "Don' stay too late! See you next week!"

Today - just taking it easy. Looking through my closet. The last six years I have worked as a Rehabilitation Support Worker for those that have survived a car accident but are now left to deal with a head injury. This job was exhausting - both mentally and physically at times but very rewarding! I have learned so much from my clients. One point: never take your life for granted and appreciate what you can do, each and everyday! My attire? yoga pants, sneakers, t-shirts and hoodies for 6 years! I took on helping out in the office between clients, setting up systems and learning the acquired brain injury lingo and teams. Dress code for the office? Whatever I felt like that day. Jeans with a cute top, dress pants and blouse or even a skirt with a scarf accessory.

Monday March 31st I start my new journey. I accepted a position as Community Sales Lead for Holiday Retirement at Stamford Estates. This is the scared to death part! I have done a little bit of sales with the jobs I have had over the years. BUT I know I can do this! I have had the priviledge to know the compnay as my Grandma Forrest (who just turned 93 last week! Happy Birthday!) lived in one of these communities in Hamilton, Court at Rushdale. They are beautiful retirement facilities. This company takes care of the littlest details.
Dress code? Not yoga pants and tees! Business. Which is great - I LOVE my heels! My tootsies will ache my first couple of weeks! I will be meeting new people. Meeting their needs to have an amazing time in their retirement. Getting out into the community meeting new friends and acquaintances.

I'm waiting for someone to say - ummm Sherri, you have been in the rehab world for 6 years, before that you have worked as executive assistants, fitness trainer and mom. Now! At the ripe age of 46 you are embarking on a NEW journey? That's right! And why not! For years I have been and continue to be involved in leadership development. Subscribing to books to better myself in leadership, people skills, all aspects of my LIFE. All that learning has led me to this! I have been on my LIFE journey the day I arrived and nestled in my moms arms. Just taking a different road that I have been on for the last 6 years. I know my destination. Its the journey that counts.



Friday 21 March 2014

Days like these....


Days like these...you wake up - the alarm scares you out of your skin! You look at the time and say "really? That was a short night!" 
You get up - trip over the dog, step on a lego on your way to get that coffee you so desperately need! You look outside and the sun has decided to stay hidden. It's ok, it just added to how you were feeling. You want to just crawl back in bed, pull the cover over your head and WAIT for the sun to come out to make your day! You can`t call your girlfriend, she hasn`t had her coffee yet either. You can`t call your other girlfriend as you know she has been up all night with her newborn. You just need someone to take out that cattle prod and give you a zap so you can get on with your day. I've been there.

BUT, I have learned that somedays I have to create my own sunshine. As my good friend Claude Hamilton says - "flick your own bick!" Create that sunshine in your life! You and I decide each and every day how it is going to be. Not the horoscope in the paper, not even the dj announcer can `rev` you up. That cup of coffee; it wears off quick. So instead, look inward and ask yourself; how can I create my own sunshine today? What attitude am I going to have today? 

There are SO many things we can be grateful for. We are all loved by someone, a friend, a relative, your pet, someone! We all have someone in our life that cares about us. You have a job. So many are without work these days. You are healthy. I may have the sniffles today but there are many that are battling for their life. Food in your cupboards. Maybe your cupboards aren't bursting at the seams but you didn't have to visit a foodbank this week. Your family. Many people at your work, in your neighborhood, on the bus; are estranged from their families and there is no relationship. 

There is always something good in every day! Your car started! You didn't put a run in your pantyhose, or you did but a new pair was hiding in your drawer! You had all green lights going to work! You found that lost earring in your sweater! It isn't snowing! (that is a wonderful news for those of us that have had to deal with quite a bit of snow this winter). Your coffee is just right!

Then there are even the little things that keep that smile on your face! When a person holds the door open for you or the vehicle in front of you pays for your coffee or you hear a childs giggle. How about a complete stranger who walks by and says 'hello' or someone says, "after you". Or even better! YOU are on the giving end. YOU make someones day a little brighter. These things brighten your day as well!

A song I just found - love it! Days like these - they go by way too fast. Days like these you wanna make them last. Check out this song! Jason Aldean - Days like these

Tomorrow morning, if the sun isn't shining over your home...make your own sunshine and have a GREAT day!

Monday 17 March 2014

I Have A Choice

I'm not going to lie; I am disappointed.

Following the Twitter hashtag, #LVERaquaContest yesterday morning, I discovered that La Vie En Rose had contacted the three finalists for their Aqua Brand Ambassador contest. I was not one of them.
My sincere congratulations goes out to the three finalists - I think that this will be an amazing opportunity for them - and so I wish each of them the best of luck.

My disappointment comes for two reasons and is accompanied by a choice.

When I first started this journey to become the brand ambassador for La Vie En Rose's swimwear line, Aqua, I really thought it was a long-shot. The more I worked out, blogged and thought about it however, the more I believed I could actually be a finalist in this contest. I met all the qualifications and was pursuing it with great energy on my social networks. As the date of the announcement grew closer, I thought for sure I would get a call.

The second reason for my disappointment is a little deeper than just not winning. My thoughts and hopes were, coming into this contest, that the brand would take a more thoughtful approach to their future advertising and marketing campaigns. All of La Vie En Rose's ads feature young women with beautiful, flawless bodies (and yes - I understand they are selling lingerie and swimwear). However, every time I visit one of their stores, I see women my age and older shopping. We are their clientele, and I was hoping that they would choose a brand ambassador who would reflect the ideals and character of not only the store, but of the women who shop there.
I hope that doesn't come across as "sour grapes". I simply believe that they could have chosen an older woman (not necessarily even me) as one of their top three finalists to represent the demographic that is most likely to support their brand. Women whose bodies have been through the trauma of child-birth, women who have experienced both the pleasure and pain of life and relationships, women who want to be told they are beautiful when they least feel it. I really think they missed an opportunity.

I have a choice to make - I can be bitter
OR
I can choose to become better.
 

My journey is not over. This blog is titled "Meema's Transformation". I am not done. I have not arrived. Today I will become better than I was yesterday; Body, Mind and Spirit. Mine is a journey of transformation, and transformation is not a destination, it is a process.

I hope you continue to join me on this journey. I believe that as each of us focus on becoming beautiful from the inside out, the world in turn will become just that much more beautiful.

Thursday 6 March 2014

She made her DASH count!

It  is with sadness and tears that I write this post.  Heaven gained a beautiful woman yesterday.  This woman did not have an easy life,  a single mom trying to make ends meet. Struggling to be a good mom and working so hard. She knew there was more to this life she was living. She decided to turn her world upside down.  She took the hard way out, so her life would get easier.  She made the sacrifices to live her life on purpose. She read books that would change her life forever. Finding her soul mate, she married her knight in shining armour that would slay any dragon that would come her way, he gave her the world. She gave birth to three more beautiful children, making her family complete. She listened to her mentors and applied what she heard.  She became an amazing mom, a wonderful spouse to her loving husband and a successful business woman. She only wanted the very best for her children. Everything she did was to better their life. She became a leader/mentor and friend to thousands of women. She helped them see themselves as champions and winners as well. She was an example of being beautiful inside and out.

Jackie Lewis' life; "it's all or nothing!"


"You only live once,  but if you do it right,  once is enough."  Jackie Lewis

I heard a story from Laurie Woodward about  The Dash. That little line between our date of birth and date of death. That little dash is so significant. Jackie's dash could circle our globe quite a few times.  She made her dash count!  She had touched more hearts in her short time than is possible to even imagine.

"I don't believe in circumstances.  The people who really make it in this world are the ones who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can't find them,  they make them". Jackie Lewis


Jackie Lewis wasn't feeling well last weekend.  Going to the hospital they thought it was a bug bite from Puerto Rico not long ago.  Her vital signs became grim. Her brain began to swell and would not respond to medication.  They transferred her to the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, giving her access to some of the best physicians in the country.  The doctors worked hard to save her.  Machines were now keeping her alive.  With Bill holding his four children, Jacob,  Eli,  Bella  and Nemo, by her side they said goodbye to their mom and loving wife for the last time.

It's so hard to think about it.  She wasn't in an accident. She wasn't terminally ill. We saw her just two weeks ago,  full of laughter and a love for LIFE! 

I have learned so many life lessons from Jackie.  Her legacy will live on in all of us whom she inspired to strive to be beautiful and strong on the inside.

"A candle loses nothing when it lights another candle" Thomas Jefferson

Jackie lit many candles in her lifetime. Following her lead, we now keep that candle lit and find others that need that light.

You can read posts and memories from hundreds of people Jackie Lewis inspired.

Tuesday 4 March 2014

The Home Stretch

Well, it's Tuesday March 4 and it is snowing again!! I sooo hope I am chosen as the La Vie En Rose Aqua brand ambassador! I NEED a trip to the Riviera Maya.


Our internet at home has been down for the past week - and won't be back up until this coming Thursday. I never really noticed how much I relied on the 'net until it was gone. In a way it's been a nice break - unplugging - but on the other hand it has been incredibly frustrating.

Our service provider (who will remain nameless) uses Bell lines. From what I understand, there was a work order for one of our neighbors' services and while there, the Bell guy took the liberty of removing our internet card (as he assumed if it wasn't listed with Bell, it was unused). And so... we wait.




I did want to take this opportunity (while I am online) to thank you for your encouragement and kind words about my challenge. The contest to become the  La Vie En Rose Aqua brand ambassador has given me a goal to work towards. I know there are many others more qualified, with more Twitter followers, and amazing "bikini-bods" who have already submitted their application - and that's ok.

Whether I have the opportunity to travel to Mexico with La Vie En Rose and post about their fantastic swimwear line or not; I am happy to have begun the process of my transformation. I love how I feel right now. I love working out. I love eating right. I love connecting with other like-minded women. I love change!

The deadline to apply for the contest is March 9 (this coming Sunday). My transformation will in no way be complete by then; in fact, I'll just be getting started. This is now a life-long journey of improving every area of my life - and I hope you join me!

Thursday 27 February 2014

Thought about stopping

Have you ever wanted to give up or quit?  Yup, me too.
I've also said, "I'll try. But if it doesn't work out in 6 months.. I'm out! "
My good friend Claude Hamilton says "what if we tried that attitude with pregnancy?" Five months in,  I'm so sick, tired and fat.. I'm done.  That baby isn't arriving until they are ready,  doesn't matter how you feel about it!

There is no try, only DO.


Setting our feelings and wants aside, there is one question, who is watching?  EVERYBODY!  I know what you're are saying  ...  "I don't care what people are thinking". You are right,  I don't either. But that isn't what I said.  The key word is "watching".  If we set a goal or a promise or a committment,  they are watching if we will cross that finish line. The cheerleaders AND the critics.

In my journey today,  my kids are watching,  especially my girls.  Mom set a goal for weight loss and to feel beautiful in that swimsuit.  And,  to apply for the LA Vie En Rose Aqua Brand Ambassador,  at my age and physique.  Yes.. I'm up  against the 20 something's where their body has not been put through childbearing,  five times!


What kind of example am I showing my kids if I give up? I'm telling them when it gets hard or feels impossible, to give up. Throw in the towel.  We can't give up.  We have to keep going.  Never quit.  We live in an drive thru society and with that comes instant thinking.  We don't take the time to think things through.  I'm not talking weeks or months,  just longer than a moment.  It took me a few days to decide if I wanted to take on this challenge. No one forced me. I had to think of the commitments it would take.  I'm not ancient but I'm not 20 anymore either.  I have the battle scares to prove it!  I need to do this for me. I couldn't make the decision flippantly, my kids are watching.  Yes they see me fall,  but they see me get back up and try again.  We are what our parents were.  Our kids will be what we are. Our grandchildren will be what our kids are!  This goes on for generations.  If you don't like what you are or where you are or where your life is going.  CHANGE. Your kids are watching.They will do what you do. If you don't have children of your own,  I can probably bet you have a neice or nephew or a friends child that is watching you and you may not even realize it.

The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in determination.  Tommy Lasorda

Our kids are watching.  They need us to show them what it takes to win.  We need to be the example of how to succeed in life,  marriage and relationships not Hollywood. I want my kid's to look at my husband and I as their Heros,  not look up to their favorite sports athlete or superhero. I want the dash between my birth date and my death date... my DASH...  to count in my children's life.

I'm not going to give up!  I have made a commitment to myself and my children are watching my struggle turn into my victory.




Tuesday 25 February 2014

Obstacles...getting in our way

We overcome obstacles everyday. When we see the word 'obstacle' what do you think of? A mountain? An actual obstacle course? A locked door? A storm?
I think of an obstacle as a hurdle. I am so amazed with the athletic hurdle races. During the Summer Olympics, they jump over the hurdles so fast and with such ease. Some of our personal obstacles might be so small that we leap over like that athlete. Other obstacles can halt us in our tracks. I just envisioned my two year old grandson running up to one of those hurdles...he would stop for a moment, looking over his options and run under it!

What are some obstacles that we could be facing?
Your surroundings
Fear of failure
Fear of getting your hopes up
Bad habits
Not wanting to change
Emotions
Low self-esteem
Your past
A family member or a friend
Time
Anger
Bitterness
Sadness
Finances
Attitude
Jealousy

When we allow an obstacle to take control, it can be very overwhelming and frustrating. Worse yet, it is so hard to move forward with all that weight on your back.
From the list above, pick one obstacle that you may be facing today. Or make note of an obstacle that isn't listed. What is the common denominator? YOU; and only YOU can take on that obstacle. There are so many times I want to help my spouse or child with an obstacle in their life. But they have to battle it out! It's a one on one battle. Surround yourself with those that will encourage, uplift and cheer you on, but this battle is yours!



I am a visual learner. This picture came to my mind.
Pick up a brick and name it. I don't mean a person's name, we don't want a pet rock to keep or treasure. Write the 'obstacle' on that brick and place it in the backpack and put it on your back. At first, the backpack isn't too heavy. It's bearable. But it certainly weighs more than an empty backpack. If you carry that brick around, everyday, that backpack eventually will feel heavier. Your shoulders start to ache and then your back. Then maybe your legs start to feel that extra weight. One horrible thought! We usually never carry around just ONE brick. We have the potential to carry many bricks at one time. The backpack becomes heavier. Our steps become shorter and sluggish. We hunch over and round our backs to try and even out the weight. If you were trying to run a marathon, who would cross the finish line first? The one that has an empty backpack or full one? I know, not a brilliant question. So why do we walk around trying to run for goals or get to the finish line with a backpack filled with bricks! No wonder we walk around looking so tired and weary!


Have you ever sat on the edge of your bed at night, too tired to even think about getting into your pjs? Completely exhausted from the day, but felt like you didn't DO anything? I've been there, ALOT! You try and make a mental list of all the things you accomplished and, well, you got dressed that day!
That's my obstacle. My calendar, time.

As I have mentioned before, I'm a mom of five amazing kids! Meema (grandma) of three of the sweetest and cutest children on this planet! (yes, I'm too young to be a Meema) and a wife to my best friend. I'm busy. I'm working. I'm a taxi. Never mind housework that desperately needs throwing in there! I'm a MOM. And the first step to freedom is admitting the problem or in this case the obstacle. My calendar controls me. It tells me where I need to be and at what time. THEN! Call me crazy! I add on ONE MORE thing to my calendar of things to do. My challenge, to apply to become the Brand Ambassador for La Vie En Rose Aqua. Before I will even submit my application, I have some goals I need to reach. I have to exercise daily, try to eat healthier meals, which needs planning and a focus. I need to get in control of my calendar, not my calendar controlling me. At the end of the day, when my calendar has been my boss, I am frustrated and I should tweet #FAIL because that is how I feel. There were SO many things I needed to do, things I needed to accomplish.

How can I deal with this obstacle?

Well, I found a friend that I KNOW has mastered her time. She has three babies under the age of four and a newborn arriving in August! And she is stress-free, ALL the time. She is in control of her time. She suggested I read a book on time management. Until I have completed that book, so that I can feel like I can 'check' off things, I put everything in my calendar. And I mean everything. Even the time to read my book. Or call someone. If there is a task I want to do, it's in the calendar. I am thrown curve balls. That is life. So, I pull out my phone and look at what I was to do during that time, and see what can be moved to the next day or later. At the end of the day, did I hit everything on that calendar? No. But I was in control. I don't feel defeated because I know I did my best. Have I conquered time management? Not yet, but I'm gaining ground in this battle!

Getting over an obstacle isn't impossible or hopeless. It takes focus, goal setting and making that goal, dream or finish line LARGER and HIGHER than the obstacle. Then deal with the obstacle. Don't brush it aside or wish it away. It will return because you have given it power to do so. Dig in and learn how you can overcome.
What I have found when dealing with an obstacle, I talked to a friend who had the fruit on the tree. I read books on that topic, knowing the author had nailed it! Last but not least, be positive. Your attitude and words reflect what you are dwelling on. When you take a positive battery and a negative battery and try to put them together, they deflect! Make your positive battery bigger, the negative needs pushing out!

Together, let's conquer these obstacles.

Wednesday 19 February 2014

Make that Change!

Websters Dictionary tells us the definition: the act, process, or result of making different 

There is a song that my friend Tara Ferrusi and I sing to the top of our lungs! We love "Man in the Mirror" by the late Michael Jackson. We are not necessarily fans of Michael but the lyrics to this song are amazing. The message is so meaningful!


I won't make you read the whole song - but there are some key phrases or words that I would like to focus on.

"Man In The Mirror" 
I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life. It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference, gonna make it right......I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. And no message could have been any clearer; if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. Make That Change.


As I am working through this 'transformation' - I'm making some changes that right now are hard but I know in the end, it will be worth it. So many of us really don't like change. I know I don't like the seasonal change from summer to fall because then I KNOW what's around the corner! If you live in Canada or Northern States you know what I'm talking about! That 4 letter word that we have had enough of already! Some of us don't like moving from our hometown. We are comfortable with our surroundings. I know I have a hard time making changes in my schedule. The night before I go over my schedule, I know what I'm doing the next day, where I'm going, who I need to meet and at what time. But when I get that phonecall. "momma, I need a ride. Can you pick me up?" Or "can you go WAY out of your way to do something. At that moment, my insides hit a panic button. I scramble for my calendar to see how I can fit the change in!


"To improve is to change. To perfect is to change often." - Winston Churchill

Why do we resist change so much? Are we too comfortable where we are at? Are we afraid because we don't know what to expect if we take the steps to change? Change is not easy - but if we are willing to sacrifice the 'good', we will gain 'great'. I need to make changes to make a difference in my life. Are you willing to make some changes? In the long run - you will be glad you did!

"Unless you are prepared to give up something valuable you will never be able to truly change at all, because you'll be forever in the control of things you can't give up." Andy Law Creative Company



Tuesday 18 February 2014

Perfection?

I came across this Buzzfeed video that was posted to Facebook by Upworthy and it really made me think about why it is I am dieting, exercising and blogging. I mean, if you go back to my original post you'll see that I have set a goal to become a brand ambassador for La Vie En Rose Aqua, but, why?
Why am I trying to lose weight? Is it because I don't look like the gorgeous swimwear models in the ads? Or is it because I know I don't feel like I am the best me I can be?

I think with all the various media images bombarding our senses every day, it is easy to have an unrealistic view of beauty. The last thing I want to do with this blog - and with my personal challenge - is to play into a warped sense of reality by striving for an unattainable picture of perfection. Rather, my goal is to become better today than I was yesterday. To achieve my personal best; body, mind and spirit.

And maybe, just maybe, inspire someone along the way. 

Sunday 16 February 2014

Love

What is Love? Love is many things to all of us. For some, it's a hug from a loved one, a child's laughter, the smell of freshly baked cookies. For some it's getting an encouraging word from a friend, a flower, or chocolate. I Love receiving gifts. I walked in Friday from errands and my grandson shoves his Valentine artwork into my hands..."Here Meema, I lum you! Happy Valemtimes Day!"
From my hubby! My ultimate favourite is TIME. Just being with him. No cost in spending time. I feel most Loved when he's around me. And his hugs from the squeezes to the gentle ones. And yes,  I do Love the flowers. My flowers change from time to time but when I see the faitful rose, I get all warm inside. My eyes light up when I see a box or bag from La Vie En Rose! I KNOW it's something I will Love!

Love is all around us if we just look. I like to people watch. Some things I wish I didn't see. A mother yelling at her child when a firm tone would suffice. A couple arguing. A child crying. I Love to see a child holding a loving adults hand. Two little ones skipping down the walkway. A couple - almost touching forheads speaking softly so no one hears. My grandson wanting up so he can put his arms around my neck and nuzzle in.

Have we have lowered the meaning of the word LOVE ? I love hotdogs. I love her hair. I love that car. I love that outfit. Websters Dictionary explains Love to be..."strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties"  That is what true Love is all about.

It's so apropriate that Valentines Day is the same weekend with Family Day. I hope you are doing what I'm doing, spending time and Loving my family.

Make sure you take time to love yourself.


Thursday 13 February 2014

Looking good....on the inside

Each new day as I walk through this journey, I come across women - like you and me - trying to figure out the 'why' and 'how' to get motivated to do what we all know we need to do.  So many women around me, all trying so hard to 'fix' the problem areas - on the outside. 

I just had a GREAT conversation with my best friend Kim MacLaren. She is my bundle of inspiration and in EVERY conversation, she is encouraging. I LOVE talking to her. I love being with her. She is my confidant, my BFF, as the kids say. When we are together...look out world!


We have fun. Our parents take a deep breath when they know we are together! We laugh, we hug, we have quiet times, we celebrate, we have times of sadness. We just love spending time together. 

We got talking about this 'challenge' and during the course of our conversation, she commented that the last week or so, a consistant theme from so many women was, "we are trying to make a change, trying to make healthier choices trying the latest diet or the latest exercise. Maybe this will work this time."

My thoughts? It is important to put at least some effort into being healty and fit. However, we can work all we want to look GREAT on the outside but we need to take a breath and ask ourselves, "WHO are we doing this for?" Whatever we do, we need to do it for us. Not for 'them' but for 'us'. We need to find that 'why' - that incredibly personal piece of inspiration that will motivate us! 

Taking this one step deeper, we can do whatever it takes to look good outside but how are we on the inside? I'm not just talking about eating healthy, but are we 'fit' inside - our whole being. Mentally, Emotionally and Physically. Let me throw this out there and try to explain what I mean. I saw a post today and it rang loud and clear in my ears..





We need to be so careful what we say to others; in fun, in jest, in anger, in bitterness, in jealousy, in the spur of the moment, etc. Our words can cut so deeply that apologizing sometimes just feels like a band aid. the wound may eventually heal, but the scar tissue is deep.

Let me talk for a moment how it can effect the one on the receiving end of those negative words. We can carry hurtful words with us for years. It can affect our whole world. It can affect our relationships. It can affect how we treat our kids, parents, friends, spouse. It can affect our attitude throughout our entire life. It can affect our perspective. IF we let it. 

We need to do whatever it takes to get rid of the baggage we drag behind us. Talk to someone. Find a BFF to connect with. Fill your mind with positive, encouraging books, blogs, or cds. I remember hearing as a kid, garbage in - garbage out. The opposite is also true, positive in - positive out. 


What really matters is living a life that is good on the inside — 
not one that just looks good from the outside.  Ann Voskamp

I want to flip the coin on this one and spend a few moments on "How we speak to ourselves." We carry our own words forever. Those words replay in our minds all day and all night.You want to talk about the wounds still being there at 10 years? More like forever! 
If you said to your friend what you contiually tell yourself, most likely they would punch you in the mouth! So why do we allow ourselves to say these negative things? Why do we beat ourselves up? Our lives are surrounded by negative all day; at work, co-workers, the radio, the news, television, books, movies and magazines! 

Not long ago, I sat in the middle of the mall for just a few moments, people watching. WOW! The SCOWLS on faces could scare ya! Negativity and sadness was everywhere! Please don't throw yourself onto that pile! 
Our words have power. I honestly believe what we say, WILL happen. If you tell yourself you are sick long enough, you will become sick! If we tell ourselves we are failures, that we can't do anything right, you are most likely prophesying your future as those words will resound in our hearts and minds forever.

They say you form a habit in 21days (3 weeks). On this journey that I am on I can think of  many things I can be negative about! Remember that word - workout? YUP! Not crazy about workouts.Or staying away from carbs, sweets, chips! BUT I can make a change in 21 days!
For the next 3 weeks, let's pause before we say something negative, and spin it for something positive.Wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, Hey Gorgeous! You are going to have a great day!  Let's get rid of things that negativity in our lives. No negative talk and for the rest of your day let's stay positive. We will be thrown every curve ball know to man-kind! It will be tough! But today is the day! We start today!

For every Goal/Dream, there is a Struggle which leads to Victory.  After 21 days, a habit will be formed. Filling our minds and hearts with positive, the negative HAS to go - there is only so much room in there!

I have heard through the grapevine that others have tried to comment on the blog posts and are having trouble. I'm not getting those comments! So please - email me than I'm sure to get it. sherri.prankard@gmail.com  I would love to hear your stories and thoughts, success stories and what has worked for you! Or tell me about a friend that has encouraged you, inspired you. Brag about them! Share with me a story that you think may help others and I can include it in the blog.

Wednesday 12 February 2014

You ARE beautiful!

Another day in my journey! Sorry my blog post is really late - but it has taken some time to write this one and I am a busy mom/meema ;)

I don't want to bore you with "this is what I did at 830am - then 834am and 9am...". You know what I have committed to do along my journey. I want to use this time rather, to share the deeper thoughts and emotions that this challenge is invoking in hopes that perhaps maybe, I might be able to (in some small way) inspire, encourage and help you as you observe me, To understand that no matter our age, size, shape, colour, background, or past, we are strong and we can do what we set our minds to do.

I received a Facebook message from a friend who moved away a long time ago - I'm trying to think back to the last time I saw her. It was probably 20+ years for sure! We have connected over social media the last few years and have enjoyed catching up! I was encouraged to receive this timely note



When I read your words, they resonated huge. Seeing it like that, in writing, made me take a moment to again acknowledge my goals etc. But honestly though, it also made me think how much more we are than our weight, our clothes size, etc. How very hard we are on ourselves. We are strong women, with families, friends, lives to be proud of. We are represented by much more than the number on the scale! I'm right there with you, wanting to be a healthier self, but I think it's important to balance it out. When I ran yesterday and thought I was going to die, I told myself 'you are strong, you are healthier for this, you can do it, this body has grown 3 humans, I'm strong' Anyways! Thanks for your words - your honesty - and your inspiration. I will be following along.


I can't tell you how much her comments, along with the others I've received, mean to me. Thank you for letting me know that we are in this thing together.

I've been thinking of Marilyn Monroe since they other day at La Vie En Rose where the girl assisting me (Emily) commented that my new Aqua swimsuit was "Marilyn Monroe classy",  
I have had an interest in her life for a long time.Maybe it was the old Elton John song, "Candle In The Wind" that peaked my interest. I don't really recall.

Over the years I have read a few books and memoirs about her and always thought Marilyn was beautiful (I still do - I have always wanted Marilyn Monroe hair - style and colour!). I was intrigued by her life and how she bounced around from man to man. Almost like she was looking for something. 
As it turned out, she had a very rough life growing up as a child, Even into her adult years, although she 'looked' happy, happiness seemed to elude her. 

Marilyn tried SO HARD to fit in, to be loved by the right man (which always was the wrong one). Marilyn was a robot - doing exactly what she was told to do, say and be. Tragically, her short life ended at 36 years of age "like a candle in the wind". 

If you Google pictures of Marilyn Monroe, you'll notice as I did, that she wasn't necessarily the modern swimsuit model we see in magaizines today. She fluctuated from a size 6 all the way to 16 (at her heaviest). She was approximately 5' 5" tall and at her heaviest weighed 140 pounds. 
The photo I am posting was taken at her heaviest. Now, I don't know about you, but in my opinion, Marilyn Monroe at 140 pounds radiated beauty. Yes she still looked amazing, beautiful and sexy!

I can't tell you why, as beautiful as she was, Marilyn Monroe was unhappy. I can tell you however, that we, as beautiful women have to STOP allowing media/hollywood dictating what beauty is. Many of the Hollywood "a-list" have money to make their hips shrink and their boobs grow. They have the time and money to hire private personal trainers and workout hours on end if they wish.

I'm talking about me..you..the rest of us! This is about about you and I and our personal and individual journies. It is about who we are trying to become, and to me, that is beautiful.

I will end with the words written by Nike:


“A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve. By where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers. By all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics, and statistics lie.”     

Tuesday 11 February 2014

Dreading exercise and NO cheating!

Everyday in our life - we need to set goals. If we don't set any - we will jump on any path and eventually end up right where we started - frustrated and ready to quit. 

If I don't know what my goals are or how I'm going to get there - how can I achieve that goal? How can I stay accountable to my word. Speaking my goals into existance, putting them in black and white will help me to strive and achieve them. 
I want you to know that for this next month - I have committed to swear off sweets, sugar, `bad`carbs AND drink lots of water, make healthier choices and oh yeah; workout. Right - there is that `word'..I am so DREADING the workout. However, if I want to succeed, I need to eat healthier and exercise.
My goal? In one months time, to look good in THE swimsuit I just purchased! AND to become the Brand Ambassador for La Vie En Rose Aqua.

The list above is to remind me what I promised to do and what I won't do to achieve my goal. In our house, my husband reminds the children over and over, there is no try - only do. Is this going to be hard? Absolutely! The only thing, at this time, I won't give up my coffee. I have an addiction. There - I said it! Yes, I'm addicted to coffee. I only need one a day, not one pot a day - like some people I know, who will remain nameless. However, if I don't have a coffee 20 minutes from opening my eyes in the morning...let's just say 'it aint pretty'! Along with it comes the migraines. Right now, I think I will be putting my body into enough shock that taking away coffee would send me over the edge. Lets take care of one issue at a time! 

Not to long ago I was a fitness trainer. I was in good shape. Working out all the time - helping clients/members achieve their goals. I wasn't 'muscle' bound or 'defined' but I was strong, lean, healthy and fit. I was happy about how I looked. Over the last 2 years, jobs change, time runs away, get busy running after all my kids and grandkids, playing taxi! This doesn't include my dreams or desires or even time with my hubby! Now I'm, well - remember this is about ME. I'm not pointing fingers (refer to "Call Me Crazy" blog post number one). But I feel a tad overweight. I can't wear most of the clothes in my closet. I'm not the best that I can be
I have been 'active-ish' over the last few years, I certainly don't sit on the couch and eat bonbons everyday. I did train for a half marathon 2 years ago, due to travelling with my son, I missed that marathon. All that to say - I need to preach to the choir! (not you but to ME) I know the do's and don'ts. I know what works and what doesn't work for me. And as for my weaknesses? chocolate, chips and dip! Oh no! I said it! Guess what I'm craving! Can someone pass the celery please? Maybe I can trick my brain..these are chips.. I know it's green and watery tasting, not at all the likness of chips. Oh who am I foolin! Good thing the chips didn't make it into the grocery cart yesterday! 

Just before Christmas I was  feeling sluggish and not happy in my clothes.  I wanted to get into shape. Feel healthier. Feel sexy in my own skin. I had picked up a Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred and I was going to workout every day. Great intentions but no activity. 
Two weeks ago I popped that dvd in and started, determined to workout every day. Let's just say Jillian kicked my rearend all the way to the procelin throne. It was horrible. I felt horrible. I was dizzy, weak kneed, nauseated, queasy, wobbly, oh it was NOT good. My poor dad called me in the middle of the ordeal and I had the poor guy worried - threatening to take me to emerge! He thought I was having a heart attack! Hindsight is always 20/20 - I think I had a mild asthma attack. I have asthma but not until recent years so it never affected my workouts in the past! I crawled over to my couch and slept for 2.5hours waking up groggy and vowing NEVER to workout again. I rationalized and told myself that I could do a little workout here and there and get by. That I only needed a few pounds to take off and maybe if I just take away the chips and pop, I would be fine.  NEVER again was I going to try that workout. I was really feeling defeated. I felt and looked terrible! Not long ago I was fit, I was toned..what happened?! Ah yes - I'm over 40 years of age and my metabolism has grinded to a halt. 


The perfect storm formed. The journey began.  

On Sunday, I convinced myself to give it ONE MORE TRY. 






I headed up the stairs to my bedroom - running shoes on - water in my hand ready to work out!  I did itI finished the workout. And two days in a row! When I felt like I was going down for the count - I slowed down - took it at a 1/4 of the speed.

Did I feel sore and winded - you bet - but I did it!  I'm on the road of my new journey! I have finished the workout - 2 days in a row - here goes my third!


"What you can become depends on what you can overcome." 
Anthony Douglas Williams


Monday 10 February 2014

Can You Sell Swimwear & Lingerie AND Change the World?

I've always believed that true change cannot be obtained alone. We are interdependent. It is with this thought in mind that I know I am going to need the help and support of you, my friends, as well as the friends I am about to meet on my journey. Yesterday, I met Emily.

I woke up feeling excited - anxious - apprehensive. Ok, I was a nervous wreck! What have I signed up for? I'm already a busy mom/meema. How could I possibly add MORE to my plate? I've been told many times that if you want something bad enough, you will find the time/money to accomplish your goal. I will find time to make this happen. 

It was a busy day - setting up the blog - lining up the ducks and then launching this journey! After lunch I donned on my workout clothes and runners - ready to (gulp) workout with Jillian Michaels!  (@JillianMichaels)  I found excuse after excuse for a half an hour to try and 'waste' time. I'll go into the reason WHY in a future post. . 
My husband turned to me and says - "ummmm...shouldn't you go pick out a swimsuit BEFORE you get all sweaty?"  RIGHT! I kicked off the runners and put on my boots. (another diversion to not working out) We headed out the door towards the outlet mall here in Niagara to pick out THE SWIMSUIT to represent the challenge (#LVERaquaContest). La Vie En Rose. (@_la_vie_en_rose) I really like their clothing line.. the lingerie AND the comfy pjs, the undergarments and the swimwear! 

That is where I met Emily, the sales associate.  We chatted for a few moments - what I was looking for, what was my style, did I prefer pattern or solid colours? TOO many choices!  I ended up with quite a few pieces of swimwear in the dressing room and one was a bikini! Emily stayed close. I thanked her and warned my hubby to stay VERY close as his wife would NOT be coming out tooooo far. I tried on the bikini as she suggested...didn't look bad. I explained to her the journey I was embarking on and that the swimsuit I chose would be a key to my success.  

Emily is the first person (outside of my four walls) who really seemed to 'get it' when I shared my thinking behind this challenge. She agreed that as women age, there are some that still want to dress like they haven't. For many of us though, if we can figure out "our style", we can radiate the same confidence and (may I say) sexiness that we did in our twenties without having to dress provocatively or suggestive. Does that make sense? 

Let me put it bluntly. There are some 40-somethings that should not wear an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weenie-polka-dot-bikini. I happen to be one.

Now, I did try on a two-piece bikini
I was VERY nervous pulling back that curtain - revealing myself to my husband AND Emily - me - in a bikini! I was extremely self conscious! But she put me right at ease with her sincerity. The fact that she took an interest and understood my mindset in entering this challenge was incredibly reassuring.


"A girl should be 2 things; classy and fabulous"
Coco Chanel


More than just Emily's obvious sense of fashion and amazing customer service; she understood this challenge on a deeper level. While I was changing, we continued our conversation. Our chat came around to her own feelings of self-consciousness in a two-piece. She, in fact, had hers on the night before, doing the 24 hour challenge. Have you heard of this?

"Nominees" have to preform some sort of stunt in the snow wearing only their underwear or swimsuits. Once completed, they post the video on line and nominate others to do the same. The thing that compelled Emily to perform her own 24-hour challenge was the benefit to a friend of hers battling lime disease. For every challenge completed, funds will be donated to help Matt Risi fight this disease.

I was so impressed with this young woman who understood the importance of interconnectedness and doing good where and when we can. Our own family's philosophy has always been "See a need; meet a need" - and what a priveledge to meet others like Emily who share in that sense of duty. 

"Be the change you want to see in the world" Ghandi 

I tried on a few more pieces and suddenly - I found THE ONE! Yup - this was perfect! It was exactly what I was looking for. Emily agreed. The look is classic - "Marilyn Monroe Classic" as she called it.

I felt kinda silly - I mean it took 3 of us to find THE ONE. But - this swimsuit was extremely important. This swimsuit represents `beginning with the end in mind`. This swimsuit will represent my transformation.

I headed home with this special bag - this item of clothing was going to change how I would look at myself for a long time. I don't want this to be a `resolution`. Resolutions come and go, EVERY year! This will be a lifestyle change. This is my transformation .




Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end.
 Robin Sharma


Thank you Emily (@emmmilyd) whether you like it or not - you are now a part of my journey. I am glad I met you today.