Silence - is it golden?

Silence....

This post is a hard one to write. Let's go back a few months ago.
I want to apologize for not 'continuing' my journey as I had planned. My life has been - well - hectic x 1000! Due to family circumstances I needed to find employment that would give me more than 1 day a week. I landed a 'good' j-o-b that became all consuming. Hard pressure sales job. The job itself isn't hard but the leadership - lets just say they need to read more people-skills books. The pressure was mounting. I had quite a bit to deal with on the home front and now add this job stress. My body decided it would revolt to the pressure and I began to crumble. Checked in with my doctor - he strongly suggested a "stress leave" and "change of job". Easier said than done on both counts! SO to add to the already mounting anxiety/panic attacks - now I feel guilty (that I left a large hole in the company where I occupied space) and now - sit? Relax? Enjoy life? WHAT?!? How do I do that?!? I'm not lazy?!? I have some hard lessons to learn here!

I'm not writing this so I receive sympathy or as a poor me - I'm writing this to tell myself - I have a plan. I know how to get through this! I'm giving myself a self talk. I need to speak positive to myself. I heard a speaker once say,  "if your loved one spoke to you like you speak to yourself - you would probably punch them in the throat"
SO why do we speak so negatively to ourselves? I need to take time and dig deep. I have been reading leadership, attitude, relationship books for quite a while now. I have been preparing for this day (unknowingly of course).

I have been surrounded by an ocean of negative words and attitudes from this j-o-b for months. As a child/youth I had always heard: GARBAGE IN/GARBAGE OUT. Ouch.  It is so hard to live positive when you are surrounded by negative - I tried. I fought to stay positive. The problem was, I wasn't allowing any time for positive influences to combat the negative.
I was allowing the negative to take over. The war raging inside was so real. I am a strong person - if you know 'the personalities' yup - I'm a raging choleric! I thought nothing could take me down. As they say; the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Up until last week however, I could feel I was losing control. Silence was killing me. Sherri crying at work! What? You get the idea. I need to move on.

So - moving forward what am I going to do? The doctor has ordered me to stop what I am doing, and get better. First things first. Positive In will result in Positive Out.

Back to reading. 

Not fiction or the latest books in the must read shelves at the nearest bookstore. Books that will help me change my life. My attitude. Help me with relationships with my husband, my kids, and my friends. Books that the authors have fruit on the tree. They have successfully mastered what they have written. I have leadership and motivational cds coming out my ears. Again - positive influence.

I need to listen to them daily.

I need to reach down and find all the life principles I have learned over the years and start the healing process.

 It's time.

At the same time - stop looking so hard at myself and help others. Thousands of people need something positive spoken over their life! I need to be careful that I don't consume myself with me. Surround myself again with those that are encouraging and uplifting. TALK to people! Not whining or poor me. It's ok for people to know you are going through something. My mom always said, 'is it a hill to die on'. There are times that whatever the 'fight' is, isn't worth dying for. A petty argument or a silly issue. Other times? Absolutely! Fight for your freedom, your rights, your life!

Right now - I'm yelling from the mountain tops! FIGHT! Don't sit silent and try to wish it away. Allow people to help you. Allow people to speak into your life. If you need someone to talk to? I'm here. Don't be silent. Help yourself. Only YOU can pull yourself out. YOU have to make the decision to get out of bed. Look in the mirror and say, YOU are great. YOU have a purpose. YOU need to make a difference.


I won't be throwing all my dirty laundry onto Facebook or twitter or even on this blog. I'm writing this praying it makes a difference to one person. It's going to be a good day!

Sad, Excited, Scared to Death!

 My 'last' day at work was yesterday, Thursday March 27th. Well, I guess I should be honest - my official last day was March 17th - the day I worked. BUT, they asked me to come in for lunch. Free food! I'm there!
Mixed emotions went through my head yesterday as I drove the hour of time along the highway from Niagara to Locke Street Hamilton. This will be the last day I make this trip to work. We went to a little bistro down the street for lunch. We tried not to talk shop but what awaited all of the us the next few months. My co-worker is going on a cruise, for myself, the NEW career path. My co-worker Lisa and I headed back to the office to tie up a few loose ends. Lisa is thrilled with my new position but hates me all at the same time.
We knew each other as kids and reconnected just a couple years ago with many years under out belts. Marriage, kids, great times, sad times. We shared a very special year building a relationship that we both vowed we would keep. We hugged goodbye - chatted for another few moments, hugged goodbye again. After 3 times Lisa said - please leave, I think I'm going to cry. As I walked out the door, my heart sank. Lisa called out - "Have a great weekend! See you next week!" She heard me stop in my tracks, she loudly whispered, "Just humour me". I called back and said my usual - "Don' stay too late! See you next week!"

Today - just taking it easy. Looking through my closet. The last six years I have worked as a Rehabilitation Support Worker for those that have survived a car accident but are now left to deal with a head injury. This job was exhausting - both mentally and physically at times but very rewarding! I have learned so much from my clients. One point: never take your life for granted and appreciate what you can do, each and everyday! My attire? yoga pants, sneakers, t-shirts and hoodies for 6 years! I took on helping out in the office between clients, setting up systems and learning the acquired brain injury lingo and teams. Dress code for the office? Whatever I felt like that day. Jeans with a cute top, dress pants and blouse or even a skirt with a scarf accessory.

Monday March 31st I start my new journey. I accepted a position as Community Sales Lead for Holiday Retirement at Stamford Estates. This is the scared to death part! I have done a little bit of sales with the jobs I have had over the years. BUT I know I can do this! I have had the priviledge to know the compnay as my Grandma Forrest (who just turned 93 last week! Happy Birthday!) lived in one of these communities in Hamilton, Court at Rushdale. They are beautiful retirement facilities. This company takes care of the littlest details.
Dress code? Not yoga pants and tees! Business. Which is great - I LOVE my heels! My tootsies will ache my first couple of weeks! I will be meeting new people. Meeting their needs to have an amazing time in their retirement. Getting out into the community meeting new friends and acquaintances.

I'm waiting for someone to say - ummm Sherri, you have been in the rehab world for 6 years, before that you have worked as executive assistants, fitness trainer and mom. Now! At the ripe age of 46 you are embarking on a NEW journey? That's right! And why not! For years I have been and continue to be involved in leadership development. Subscribing to books to better myself in leadership, people skills, all aspects of my LIFE. All that learning has led me to this! I have been on my LIFE journey the day I arrived and nestled in my moms arms. Just taking a different road that I have been on for the last 6 years. I know my destination. Its the journey that counts.